Making fun of the bible part 1: Junk

Ezekiel 23:19-21

“¹⁹ Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. ²⁰ There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. ²¹ So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.”

These guys could be the new stars in a bukkake movie! Don’t forget your tarp!

Deuteronomy 23:1

No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

At least they get to sleep in on Sundays.

Samuel 18:25-27

Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.

Great idea! Next time I am courting a female I am going to slap her father with foreskins! I suggest SMBC make a comic out of this verse.

Book Review: Old Man’s War

I just finished reading Old Man’s War by John Scalzi. It was fantastic!  I hope that the author would not be offended, or people thinking I am a dumb child, by saying the writing style is great because it is simple.  I hate fluffy details and too many thesaurusized words that send me to my computer for the nͭͪͭͪth time.   I also was glad that there weren’t any egregious scientific problems (at least to someone with as little understanding as I do).  When he started talking about tachyons I got a little worried, but it worked nicely.  Ultimately it was a fun story and a cool universe that has potential for lots of other stories within it.  Next I am either reading Ghost Brigades or Little Brother, whichever comes first in the mail.  9/10

Content

How do I make content that simply isn’t “Hey, check out this link!”?

WTF?

The last two posts I made were on the main page, but now they are gone from the main page though they still appear in the archives.

 

EDIT:  Apparently after I posted this, now they work.  I tried refreshing like a billion times and using other browsers too.  Weird.

This is Classic

You suck!

YouTube Now Has Something Worth Watching

So apparently YouTube now has content worth watching besides The Guild.  This arms race for free online TV and movies is quite cool.  Imagine when all shows will be online, for free, on demand.  The only thing holding any of these sites back right now is simply content.  Yea, you can watch some cool things, but you always have to settle for what they have.  I dream of a world where it simply doesn’t matter if you are home to watch your show and you don’t have a DVR.  Eventually it should get to the point where all the shows and movies ever made are steaming online.  That would be sweet.

2 hits!

Wow! I got two hits on here, who was it? We can have a party.

Now Reading

I just picked up a copy of Old Man’s War by John Scalzi.  I needed a space opera military sci-fi fix.  It sounds pretty durn cool so perhaps I will give it a review once I finish it.  Knowing me that will be like 6 months from now.

Sadly this defines me I think

 The part that hits closest to home is the votey (the red dot at the bottom).  I think you have to actually go to the site to see that part.

Sticky Wings

I made some good wings last night, the measurements are kind of ball-parked so adjust everything to your preference.

INGREDIENTS

    1/4 cup soy sauce

    1/8 cup molasses

    1/4 cup honey

    2 tablespoons sweet chili sauce

    fresh grated ginger, as much as you like

    some crushed red pepper (however much you like)

    1 clove garlic, chopped real small like

    salt (because I used low sodium soy sauce)

    black pepper

    1- 1.5 pounds wings, tips removed

    some toasted sesame seeds

DIRECTIONS

1.  Toss everything expect the chicken and sesame seeds into a bowl and whisk around.  After the wings are rinsed and dried, separate the drummettes from the other part and toss the tips (or use them for stock).  Cut any tendons on the drummette and push the meat to the end forming a handle with a ball.  Let the wings marinate for about an hour and a half in the fridge, make sure to turn them at some point.
2.  Preheat oven to 350°F.  Put the wings in a baking pan not touching each other and put a couple of millimeters of the sauce on the bottom of the pan so they can baste in it.  Save any extra sauce and heat it in a sauce pan to make it safe to eat as a dipping sauce.
3. Let the wings bake for about 40-45 minutes, until they are done.  Sprinkle a little bit of the sesame seeds on the wings and serve.  

NOTES

    I served these over some jasmine rice.  If you want some color you can cut some green onions on a bias and do something fancy with that.  Also, I probably would have liked these better if they were spicier, perhaps I should trade the sweet chili sauce for some spicy rooster sauce.  Also, I thought about subbing half of the soy sauce for some beer but at the time I was making the sauce I did not want to finish the beer, so maybe someone else could try this and tell me how it works.

BEER PAIRING

    I had this with some OAKED Arrogant Bastard.  Any beer with a good caramel back bone with work well.